with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
