rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
