I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Randomize
