I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
