Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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