i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
