her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
