One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
