i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
