Its about making memories worth repressing
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
