ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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