Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
