I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
