last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
