You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
