Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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