Dual....:-)
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
