Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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