is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
