oh god the rape fog is back!
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
