We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
