You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
