hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
