Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
