my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I need a burrito and a hug.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
