You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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