sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
