How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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