Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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