I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
