so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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