he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I have feelings that need drinking.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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