I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
