White coat. Heels.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
