how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
