he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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