First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Randomize
