The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
