This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
