i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
