His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i just google imaged poop.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
