it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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