How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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