I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
