My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
