I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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