You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Randomize
