Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
