I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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