I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Dignity is for republicans.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
