Tell her she can't have a vagina
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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