So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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