I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
