she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
